Wish the feeling would never go away.

I have been thinking, "maybe this was a bad idea...writing this blog."  I wanted it to be a place to share all my warm fuzzy feelings, and good mom moments, and change of heart moments, and moments when I don't forget my purpose, or the purpose of having my little family, and I don't get frustrated, or mad, or overwhelmed, to share all the good stuff I do as a mom as a result of this crazy personal revelation I have been given.  So the fact that, despite praying continually that the good and loving and changed feelings of my heart would never go away, I have to be honest and say that I am imperfect and I have found myself feeling like I did before.  It is not like I was "bad" before, but I just let things get to me, it was easy to get caught up in all the things I need to get done, feeling overwhelmed, not wanting to do another polly pocket hair do, or listen to another description of the last cartoon that was watched.  You know, just normal stuff.  And I didn't want to feel that way, but it just happens.  Life gets hectic, or stressful, or I am just not on top of things everyday.  I feel frustrated in myself because not every night when I tuck the girls in bed do I remind myself that this day is special, and what if it was the last day, but I just sometimes say "okay, mom is tired, it is bed time, time to be quiet, time to go to sleep.  I love you girls."  So I feel bad.  I don't want to admit that it happened, or will happen but it did and does.  I have been praying to have those great, super in tune, loving mom feelings everyday and some days I do OK and some days I am not my best.  But I read a scripture recently that I LOVE that really helps me remember what Heavenly Father wants of me and everyone.  Alma 34: 33 "for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not IMPROVE our time while in this life....."  That is the part that stuck out and I love...IMPROVE.  To me that means that we try and get better each day.  We won't master everything all at once, we will have days where we seem to be going backwards, but we are working to try and improve each day.  So in these last few days that haven't been nearly as heavenly as that first few days after the inspiration, or revelation or whatever, I have been praying to have my heart changed but also praying to just do at least one thing better today than I did yesterday.  I can improve each day....that I know with certainty.